Milford Mill student wins poetry Contest at Bowie State University

DejMilford Mill senior De’Ja Alston entered and won the Black College Expo Poetry Contest at Bowie State University, her poem is below.

On the Inside
By Deja Alston

I’ve been staring at a fake picture since before I could understand…dag…oblivious where was the realest man. His body died before I could even stand, his mind too when I was eight. Where is the God in that?…When I needed a dad. I thought on Earth there was a promise land…shhhh. I’m not supposed to question that stuff…but yet the answers never really good enough. So, I sit with a blank stare. Can’t tell my mother, most stuff she can’t bare. So I cry but only on the inside. The pain only comes out when a man dies and you realize that the lies are the only thing that kept your family alive. So you strive to tell her it’s okay when you know it’s a lie. So again, I cry, but only on the inside. I pray, if it doesn’t make it, I’m satisfied ‘cuz I tried.

Then my brother died, bullets fly in the hood like a flock, but you can’t stop it. Now I’m sitting here crying ‘cuz he got hit. The good die young that’s what Pac said. He aint even have a chance to live. The only brother that I had, we both just lost our dad. Now he’s dead. Me and my sisters lost the men that we had. Where is the God in that? We needed him, he wasn’t there. So I sit with a blank stare. Can’t tell my mother, most stuff she can’t bare. So I cry but only on the inside. The pain only comes out when a man dies and you realize that the lies are the only thing that kept your family alive. So you strive to tell her it’s okay. Even when you know it’s a lie. So again, I cry, but only on the inside.

 

I stopped praying because I’m no longer satisfied with just a try. On my other side, tragedy struck. The only man that was there through all my downs and my ups. My mothers father turned out to be mine too. Don’t know how I would have made it through. Without my grandpop I wouldn’t be who I am. He made me believe in a God because my God was in him. He died in his sleep never to wake up again. The first time I cried out loud. The saddest I’ve ever been. What did I do to deserve this? I will never understand it. So I sit with a blank stare. Can’t tell my mother, most stuff she can’t bare. So I cry, but only on the inside. The pain only comes out when a man dies and you realize that the lies are the only thing that kept your family alive. So you strive to tell her it’s okay, when you know it’s a lie. So again I cry but not just on the inside. I pray if there is a God…that he’s satisfied.  

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2 thoughts on “Milford Mill student wins poetry Contest at Bowie State University

  1. Wow! Very deep. I feel your pain. You are a strong individual and what ever difficulties you are going through in life, I hope it will strengthen you to be the best you can be.

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